Pat Conroy’s wide wide water
Pat Conroy was born to a dysfunctional family. It was a blessing and a curse. The eldest of seven, Conroy was physically and verbally abused by his father, then was an unwilling witness as Donald Conroy did the same to his brothers and sisters and their beloved mother Peggy. One time during a family altercation, Donald threw a glass of milk in Pat’s face. Peggy took over and drove Pat and his brother Jim (who had been hit earlier by Donald) to the hospital. Pat later told the New York Times that they were going to tell the doctor they were playing touch football, fell down, and hit his head on a water spigot. Conroy later said it was “the most chilling refrain of his childhood.” The Conroys kept a smiling facade as they moved twenty-three times while Pat was growing up. But the facade cracked: Younger brother Tom killed himself in 1994. Estranged sister Carol Ann (who is also a poet) was rumored to be the inspiration for Susannah Wingo, the suicidal poet in The Prince of Tides.
Conroy went to the Citadel, a school he hated and revered at the same time. It was there he self published The Boo, a book based on Lt. Colonel Thomas N. Courvoisie, who also inspired a character in The Lords of Discipline. He then went to Daufuskie Island, South Carolina and taught in an one room classroom. The children were mostly illiterate and had no idea there was a world out there from their island. Pat tried to teach them the basics: Best baseball player? Jackie Robinson. Who said “the British are coming! The British are coming?” Paul Revere. He took them on a field trip on the mainland on Halloween so they could trick or treat. The children adored him, calling him “Conrack.” The school board? Not so much. His contract wasn’t renewed. However, something good came out of it: His first traditionally published book The Water is Wide was published in 1972, later made into a movie starring Jon Voight as Conroy.
Conroy’s next book was a novel called The Great Santini. He wrote what he knew: an abusive Marine father. A mother in complete denial about her husband. A big family, with a sarcastic sister and a confused older brother. If you knew the Conroys, you knew it was based on them. The family wasn’t too happy about it. Peggy’s book group picketed bookstores who carried The Great Santini. Carol Ann never forgave her brother for the book. It led to the breakup of his first marriage. Yet time was the ultimate healer: Peggy filed for divorce from Donald. What did she use for evidence? A copy of The Great Santini. Donald tried to redeem himself to his eldest son, so much so he would go with Pat on book readings. He always stressed his son’s books were fiction, in case you didn’t know.
In The Lords of Discipline Conroy wrote again about the Citadel, this time showing the school in all its ugliness and beauty. The plot dealt with Will McLean’s four years at the school, his romance with a girl named Annie Kate, and looking out for Tom Pearce, the first African American cadet in the Citadel’s history. Years later when I read about Shannon Faulkner wanting to be the first woman cadet I thought “Shannon! Babe! Read The Lords of Discipline! You don’t want to go to this school!” (Conroy not only supported Faulkner’s mission, he paid for her education after she left the school)
Six years later, Conroy wrote The Prince of Tides. Another dysfunctional family, this time the Wingos. This time eldest son Tom had to tell the truth about the family to Dr. Lowenstein, his sister Susannah’s therapist. It’s not pretty. As stated above, Carol Ann wasn’t happy about the book and became even more angry with her brother. But the book became Conroy’s biggest best seller, becoming a movie starring Nick Nolte and Barbra Streisand, who also directed the film.
Conroy dealt with a serious depression in the early 90’s. His marriage fell apart, and his youngest daughter Savannah refused to speak with him (In My Reading Life he gave this haunting dedication: This book is dedicated to my lost daughter, Susannah Ansley Conroy. Know this, I love you with my heart and always will. Your return to my life would be one of the happiest moments I could imagine. ) He couldn’t finish his novel Beach Music. Then younger brother Tom jumped off a building. It was too much and he had a nervous breakdown. It wasn’t his first. Depression plagued him almost all his life.
Somehow he got through it. He knew he had no choice. He had to keep going. He finished Beach Music. Married again to novelist Cassandra King. This marriage stuck. They lived on Flipp Island, North Carolina, where he wrote more books and enjoyed his grandchildren. He wrote a honest but tender memoir about his father called The Death of Conroy, detailing their relationship and how they made peace. Peggy had died in 1984 from cancer. Some relationships remained tattered: he never said if he made up with Savannah or not. I’m guessing he never made up with Carol Ann.
When he revealed last month he had pancreatic cancer, I thought oh no. No, no, no. I just knew he was going to die soon. Don’t ask me how I knew. It was a combination of so many people dying lately plus pancreatic cancer has such a low survival rate. I prayed he would find peace. I prayed that he would write a good draft of a novel. I prayed he would go gently.
I got the latter wish. Cassandra King confirmed Friday night Pat Conroy died at the age of 70. “The water is wide and he has now passed over,” King stated. I found myself bursting into tears. I remembered the lyrics to “The Water is Wide” The water is wide, I can’t cross o’er/ And neither I have wings to fly/Give me a boat that can carry two/And both shall row — my love and I/ And both shall row — my love and I. Row on, Mr. Conroy. Row on.
Originally published at jenniferkathleen.com.
